There comes a time

Retrospective thoughts of an undergrad

Avi Jain
4 min readDec 19, 2016

There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy’s life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.

There comes a time when he wishes to save a delicate, pretty girl from the clutches of thugs and be called a hero (followed by a kiss a la Spiderman perhaps). He buys new superhero sheets.

Figurines and costumes. But then he realizes how futile his efforts are, and turns towards something more realistic, which still makes him feel superior — WWE moves on his sibling (Everything except the choke slam, of course).

There comes a time when he longs to build, create, innovate…using Lego blocks. The initiation of the engineering part of his brain. (Which probably led me to an engineering college. Damn you Mechanix).

There comes a time in every enthusiastic young boy’s life when he realizes that he isn’t ever going to become a professional cricketer or football player, heck not even the school team captain, and his outlook towards sports changes. They’re now put on the side-lines, and priorities are rearranged.

When this reality dawns on him (plus he gets hold of a pirated Grand Theft Auto/Need For Speed CD) he moves on to focus his energy on virtual stuff, and his goal changes to ‘Become a game developer.’

There comes a time when he chances upon American Pie airing on television, and discovers that everything he’s been doing until now is meaningless, and begins ‘Hot’ Pursuit — 2. He yearns to grow up and go to college, where he thinks he’ll bake his own pies.

He embarks on a journey to come across as a ‘kewl dude’, who’ll floor the school chicks with his wit, charm and spiky hair loaded with ounces of Brylcreem.

This is the ‘everybody-in-the-house-is-totally-uncool-my-parents-don’t-get-me’ phase, often accompanied by extensive binging of American sitcoms.

There comes a time in every ambitious boy’s life when he becomes a part of the rat race. He thinks college would be the end of this. Some people tend to enjoy it more than they like to admit, to themselves or to others. They like to beat others, to be the ‘best’. In a system based on elimination and competition, he either runs to grab the lead, or escapes it altogether. (Also, I don’t think this race ever ends.)

There comes a time when he wakes up in the wee hours of the morning due to the heavy rains lashing against his window, water seeping in through the nets. The pillow feels cold. Legs popping out of the blanket. No electricity. The laptop lying next to him, battery dead.

Weather’s gloomy, a gentle kind of sadness, with colors in the sky that don’t usually belong there. The last time he saw these skies was one of those ceaseless gaming sessions almost a semester back. Reminiscences about the semesters gone by like a gush of wind.

Bittersweet moments.

When you think of it, most of our memories are associated with small incidents, of our lives that more than often were meaningless in the long run, rather than conventional milestones. But these things actually stay with us as we grow up.

Binging on TV shows, discussing probable plots for the next season, watching movies until dawn, acting in street plays, switching FF on and shooting teammates in Counter Strike , singing off-tune, off-pitch, off-tempo, off-everything songs on karaoke nights, and writing shitty articles.

When I look back upon college, these things come to mind and I find myself grinning.

I believe it’s these little things that make life grand and beautiful. Yes, there are milestones that are larger and live on in our memory for years to follow but they are mostly few and far between. Stuff that happens a couple of times in a year or so.

While trying to reach some destination far away on the horizon, in the heat of the tough going, it’s easy to lose sight of the lovely place you’re passing through; and before you know it, you’re tired, worn out. And it doesn’t seem to make any difference whether you’ve reached the goal or not.

You can just decide that what you have is good enough and put in just enough effort to get by, although this is very hard to do unless you know what it is exactly that drives you and what you plan to do in the future.

“Follow your dreams”, “Chase your hobbies”, blah blah.

Society makes us believe that we are all destined to do something truly extraordinary. Famous people on the TV say it. Business bigwigs say it. Books say it. That lady dressed in white who comes on a spiritual show that my mom watches says it (a lot).

Do I believe each and every one of us deserves greatness and should strive for it? Crap.

You can live an average life. You don’t need to have your shit sorted out from an early stage, and live according to daily/monthly/yearly strategic plans. Spontaneity is fun. True, without plans, you can seem lost. But then like mah homeboy Eminem says, ‘ You better lose yourself ’ You only get one shot. So don’t try to get good at doing what you hate. If you do, you will be asked to do more of it. For more money. perhaps. It’s a trap. Be surprised and silly while you still can. Be quiet and listen for your own voice. It’s still there.

Sign up to discover human stories that deepen your understanding of the world.

Free

Distraction-free reading. No ads.

Organize your knowledge with lists and highlights.

Tell your story. Find your audience.

Membership

Read member-only stories

Support writers you read most

Earn money for your writing

Listen to audio narrations

Read offline with the Medium app

--

--

Avi Jain
Avi Jain

Written by Avi Jain

"believe in trying to make the best of the finite number of years we have on this planet (while not making it any worse for anyone else)" — Sal Khan

No responses yet

Write a response